Sara's Gone.wav

Sarah’s Gone
by Scott Alan Simpson

You break open my house.

You split the walls, strange light pours in, I cannot see your face.
But I know it is you.
Summer, red wine and that song you loved,
the cat whose name I can’t remember, vanilla and traffic by the park –
All come pouring in –

Strange light –
So I know it is you.

You see,
Alex said, “Sarah’s gone.”
But that isn’t what happened first.

First was opening your door and knowing before seeing what you had done.
Then came the smell. And I knew it was you. I knew you would be lying there.
Your legs at odd angles. Did you make the cuts while standing up? Did you fall?

I am eighteen and I love you and you have spilled your life on the floor of this room.
I am eighteen and you are the sun and perfect as nothing has ever been.

And I am eighteen.

Time beyond measure passes (days?) and you lie in the earth and Alex says,
“Sarah’s gone.”

A moment passes.

And I am fifty.
Still scrubbing at the stain.
I am fifty and you crawl from the Earth –
Break open my house.
Strange light pours in
And I know it is you.

I am fifty and
I build worlds now
Where you might have been happy
And been the sun
And perfect
As everything is.